It's lonely here on VHS...might you spare a DVD release, govnah?

I used to work at an indie video store called Movie Magic while enrolled at SF State. As a cinema major, I made it my mission to stock the store with all sorts of rare VHS movies (this is the pre-DVD era) and arranged the store in hundreds of director sections, with the blessing of the owner, Tommy, and help from my fellow employees, largely my then-roommate David. We had all sorts of amazing stuff that were hard to come by--and with VHS gone the way of the dodo, many of these titles have yet to surface on DVD. Some good, some great, some awful, and lots just sentimental, here are some of the many of lost, orphaned titles in dire need of a digital makeover and disc release. Let's to it, shall we?

TRAVELS WITH MY AUNT (1972)

Based on a novel by the great Graham Greene and directed by George Cuckor, this fanciful comedy stars Maggie Smith as a worldly spinster, and also features Lou "You know, I was in things other than Iron Eagle" Gossett, Jr.

A THOUSAND CLOWNS (1965)

Herb Gardner's fantastic play really came to life on the big screen, thanks to the amazing performances, including Jason Robards as the model of nonconformity Murray, young Barry Gordon as his son Nick, and Barbara Harris as a sympathetic social worker. Heck, Martin Balsam even took home an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. So...why no DVD love? Eh, MGM?

SUBURBIA (1996)

Richard Linklater's angsty teen comedy was based on a script by Eric Bogosian, and featured a sterling young cast, including Nicky Katt, Giovanni Ribisi, Parker Posey and Steve Zahn. It was fairly well received and did well on VHS. Digitize me!

RAD (1986)

BMX Bikes. Lori Loughlin. That song "Send Me an Angel." WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?

THE OFFENCE (1972)

Sidney Lumet's powerful, creepy cop drama features an intense Sean Connery and an evil Ian Bannen. We finally got some of the other Lumet/Connery collaborations ("The Hill," "The Anderson Tapes") onto DVD, so why is this one only available in the UK?

ISHTAR (1987)

Telling the truth can be dangerous business

Honest and popular don't go hand in hand

If you admit you play the accordion

No one will hire you in a rock n' roll band!

Any film that starts with Hoffman and Beatty crooning those words is WORTH A FRICKIN DVD RELEASE!

NORTH (1994)

Rob Reiner's megaflop has Elijah Wood, lots of other stars and Bruce Willis in a bunny outfit. Roger Ebert hates this movie more than "Milk Money" and "Transformers 2" combined. So put it on DVD so we have something to put into a time capsule to warn future generations of what not to do.

A NEW LEAF (1971)

Hilarious comedy written, directed by and starring Elaine May. With Walter Matthau. "Date With an Angel" is on DVD, and this isn't?

MY DEMON LOVER (1987)

Lots of bad creature effects AND Nick from "Family Ties?" What part of "I need to be able to watch this every day" does Columbia/Tri-Star NOT understand?

LITTLE DARLINGS (1980)

It's the battle of "who can lose their virginity" first between Tatum O'Neal and Kristy MacNichol--with Cynthia Nixon in tow! Oh, and Matt Dillon. Make this available!

THE LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN (1985)

Despite the title song, the film's chances of arriving on DVD aren't invincible. But c'mon--Slaters Helen and Christian, and lil' Yeardley Smith, with character names like Putter and Binx--you know you've got filmic gold bouillon, do you not?

JOHNNY GUITAR (1954)

This killer Western from Nicholas Ray has Joan Crawford in her best role as a gunslinger in this widely acclaimed film, championed by Martin Scorsese (who intros the film on it's VHS edition). Again, only available as an import? What the F, H-Wood?

A GUY NAMED JOE (1943)

Spencer Tracy and Irene Dunne star in this romance that Spielberg remade as "Always." It's a quality film, yet hard to find even on VHS.

GLEAMING THE CUBE (1989)

Slater. Skateboarding. Murder. AMAZING.

ELECTRIC DREAMS (1984)

A young man and his computer (voiced by Bud Cort) vie for the affections of Virginia Madsen in this quirky comedy directed by Steve Barron (who also helmed the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie AND the infamous A-Ha Take on Me video). So culty, the VHS goes for substantial bucks on Ebay. So cash in on the interest and put it on disc!

CHU CHU AND THE PHILLY FLASH (1981)

Abysmal comedy with fantastic stars (Alan Arkin, Carol Burnett, Danny Glover) that shot in San Francisco. A major find for me on VHS back in the day, as a giant Arkin fan. We wanted to like it...so much that I'll give it a sympathy buy if it makes it to disc.

BREWSTER MCCLOUD (1970)

Strange, funny character study from Robert Altman launched the career of a pre-Harold and Maude Bud Cort. Most of Altman's other titles have surfaced on DVD, so why not this one?

THE FIXER (1968)

Based on the novel by Bernard Malmud and scripted by Dalton Trumbo, Alan Bates received an Oscar nom for this stirring character study directed by one of the greats, John Frankenheimer. In fact, a lot of Frankenheimer films are either unavailable or out of print and hard to find ("All Fall Down" and "The Challenge," come to mind). Let's get on it, studios!

AMAZING GRACE AND CHUCK (1987)

Mike "Four Weddings and a Funeral" Newell directed this sweet drama about a young pitching phenom who won't throw another pitch until the nation disarmed it's nuclear weapons. With Jami Lee Curtis and Gregory Peck as The President. A good little movie that deserves a good little DVD release.

THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)

Huston. Hepburn. Bogart. ONE OF THE ALL TIME GREATEST MOVIES. It makes no sense that it hasn't surfaced on DVD. Is there some weird rights issue going on with this? 'Cuz it just ain't fair.

THE LIST OF ADRIAN MESSENGER (1963)

Another John Huston film that is inexplicably not on DVD, it featured some big named actors (Frank Sinatra, Robert Mitchum, Burt Lancaster) in heavy makeup to disguise themselves to fool the viewing audiences. It doesn't hold up all that great, but it's a cool little oddity.

TOUGH GUYS (1986)

Killer chemistry between Lancaster and Douglas highlight this fun caper comedy that also showcases a young Dana Carvey as their parol officers. Plus, it's got that infinitely hummable title song. If you're tough enough, Touchstone, put it on DVD! (If you even exist anymore, Touchstone. You went the way of Orion and that Sphinx studio, right?)

BIG MAN ON CAMPUS (1989)

Written by and starring Alan Katz, this is a silly update of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, where he lives in the bell tower of UCLA and eventually goes to class. It's one of those "I used to watch it on HBO growing up" movies. I would so so so so so buy it on DVD.

CARTOON ALL-STARS TO THE RESCUE (1990)

Kids will say no to drugs if they can say yes to the Muppet Babies AND Slimer in the same cartoon. Ok, I'm just being silly with this DVD request...but why not?

THE SQUEEZE (1987)

Michael Keaton, Rae Dawn Chong and Michael Keaton's power mullet star in this lottery-rigging comedy that flopped miserably in the late eighties. Still, I find myself watching it whenever it pops up on cable TV. So let's just put it on DVD and get it over with, will ya? Also, "Touch and Go" would be good, too.

SLAPTSTICK OF ANOTHER KIND (1982)

Disasterous retelling of a Kurt Vonnegut novel has a trio of great comedic talent--Jerry Lewis, Madeline Kahn and Marty Feldman--but fails on almost every level. I'd still like to revist it, though.

NO HIGHWAY IN THE SKY (1951)

Jimmy Stewart and Marlene Dietrich star in this taut thriller aboard an airplane. Really good vintage Stewart--that, and "The Jackpot" belong in everyone's DVD library--if it were only possible.

THE PARK IS MINE (1986)

Tommy Lee Jones stars as a crazed Vietnam Vet who...get this...takes over NYC's Central Park. Made for TV, but it's prime TL Jones. Rare even on VHS, where it was released by Key Video (who also released the once ultra-rare "Better Off Dead").

THE WRONG BOX (1966)

Robert Louis Stevenson's short story becomes a fun comedy headlined by Michael Caine and featuring Peter Sellers, John Mills, Ralph Richardson and the great team of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. Unbelievably unbelievable that it's unavailable. That un-tastic.

Get to work, studios! Get these on DVD! STAT!